Mother Krishna bai
From: Meetings with Sages and Saints by V Ganesan of
Sri Ramanasramam
Life
Krishna Bai was born in 1903. Since she was born after the loss of their first two
children, her parents loved her deeply and affectionately called her “Kutti” (meaning,‘Baby’).
From her childhood Krishna Bai had great love for God. She would sing before the pictures of God, and become so completely absorbed that she would forget everyone and everything. Many a time she would talk to God - even when she was not in front of the pictures - unmindful of others making fun of her.
When she was four years old, she happily helped her mother and others in their
chores. She also never felt jealous about anybody and various incidents from her childhood proved it time and again.
She lost her father when she was eight years old and was deeply affected by his
passing away. Her maternal uncle took over the running of the household. A few years later, Kutti married Lakshman Rao. Living in penury, and still inwardly grieving her father’s death, Krishna Bai’s wedding gave her no joy.
Sometime after her marriage, she joined her husband in Bombay where they lived happily for a while. However, one shock after another came. Her husband passed away and other domestic troubles from her maternal uncle cropped up. Although she was well taken care of by her husband’s elder brother and his wife, she still felt like an orphan. Her two sons : Narayan and Ganesha had to be well taken care of, as well. She and her sister-in-law used to visit Swami Ramdas regularly and it was in 1928 that Swami Ramdas accepted her as his disciple. She describes how it felt to visit with Papa Ramdas, “O Mother Papa! As I neared your ashram, I experienced a rare and inexpressible joy, similar to what a child would feel when it was about to meet its mother after a long period of separation. Thenceforward, I began visiting the ashram for your darshan daily in the company of friends.”
With her devotion growing day by day, she was initiated by Swami Ramdas into the holy mantra : ‘Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram.’ He made her give up reading the scriptures, like Eknath Bhagavat and Jnaneswari ; and, got her to repeat the mantra with a rosary, day and night. He further instructed her to consider all thoughts that arose in her mind and whomsoever she beheld only as Ram Himself. He guided her on how to offer to Ram all actions performed by the limbs of body and the senses. Her intense longing for a ‘Guru’ was thus fulfilled.
The transformation that happened to her after being with Swami Ramdas has been described by her: “Accepting you as my central object of adoration, I learnt to love the entire universe. I was prepared to extend my love towards all beings and treat them with kindness, patience and forgiveness. As my vision expanded, I came to love all people and creatures in the world; and, my attachment to my husband and other members of his family disappeared. Later, when I renounced my attachment to all my kith and kin, by your will, I
dedicated my body, mind, and all that I called my own to you, who is all and beyond all. Ultimately, you made me renounce myself, your form and the entire cosmos; and, I became one with the eternal Truth beyond name, form and movement. This spiritual summit I reached, through your infinite grace.”
Papa Ramdas asked her to compose songs like Saint Mirabai and others. To that, Krishna Bai did not agree. A short talk that ensued then, between Papa and Krishna Bai is very illuminating:
"In that case what do you want to be like?" She replied, "I do not wish to be like
anybody." To this he asked, "Do you wish to be like Ramdas?" She replied, “I don't want to be like you, a guru carrying on the work as you do. I want to be one with your eternal and infinite Being; and, know ‘you and I’ are one. Besides, nobody should know that I have realized your immanent and transcendent Being."
Whenever devotees invited her to their house to talk about Papa Ramdas, she would join them in their domestic work and would talk about Papa and Ram Nam. After Papa's Mahasamadhi in 1963, it was left to Mother Krishnabai to guide the affairs of Anandashram and minister to Papa's spiritual family spread all over the world. In spite of poor health, she carried on her mission tirelessly till she attained Mahasamadhi in 1989. Until then, she literally served as a mother to all who came under her spell. She toiled day in and day out to serve both, devotees as well as the poor and needy.
For her, serving others was serving herself. The life she led in Anandashram made her an embodiment of selfless activity and a dynamic expression of multi-faceted divinity. God's compassion, graciousness, forgiveness, purity and peace radiated in her and she came to be venerated by one and all, as “Pujya Mataji Krishna Bai ”!
SOME QUOTES OF MATAJI KRISHNA BAI
“Whenever you do anything, understand that whomsoever you may serve, it is the Divine Mother you serve. It is She who has assumed all forms.”
“If you see greatness in others, the same greatness is in yourself. If you see littleness in others, the same littleness is in yourself.”
“We should develop a childlike nature. We should become innocent and pure like children. Ram Nam removes all the vasanas and makes everything void in us, while reading lends us strength and power to carry on with our sadhana till we have developed that childlike nature.”
MATAJI KRISHNA BAI AND ME
As shared in the earlier talk, it was Swami Ramdas who directed me to Mataji Krishna Bai.
The very first darshan of Pujya Mataji sent quivers of joy in me! I didn’t know - and no one told me at that time - that Mataji was a saint herself. I was to know about it only later. So, the experience of sanctity, serenity and saintliness in her presence that I felt, was not my mental projection – it was pouring out from her in a most natural way. I am making a specific mention of this only to confirm to fresh seekers that divinity, sanctity and saintliness exist in these extraordinary personalities, independently of one’s perception based on information derived from books or from fellow-seekers.
Pujya Mataji was not well. One, Dr.Leelavati, who was attending on her, was with her. Swami Satchidananda introduced me to Mataji. Mataji looked at me, with all affection, love and compassion, and said: “Child! What can I do for you?” I replied: “Mataji! I have problems and I need your help!” She looked surprised and said: “Then, why did you come to me? You should have gone to Pujya Papa.” Now, it was my turn to be surprised. I felt, “What is this? Are they playing football with me?” Bewildered, I replied “But, Mataji! It was
Papa who sent me specifically to you!” She asked, “What did he say?” I repeated what Papa had told me, “Then, you should go to Mataji. She will deal with you.” I saw a pleasant, but tremendous change coming over Mataji. She became still, silent and stood like a rock for a few moments, and then poured forth the following glorious words of ‘abhayam’ (acceptance), “Oh! Pujya Papa has said so and sent you to me. That means I have to take complete charge of you. The entire responsibility of yours has thus been entrusted to me. Yes! I am taking over you!” For some time, a steady flow of silence permeated all around. Coming back to her normal poise, she said, “I am not well now. So,
come here at four in the evening, when I will be taking a walk here. Then, we shall talk.”
Mataji turned to Dr.Leelavati and told her to be there at that time to act as the interpreter between us. Sharp at four, I was in the long hall. Mataji too entered the hall along with Dr.Leelavati.
I prostrated to Mataji, knelt in front of her, and said, “Mataji! I want to talk to you about some personal matters.” Mataji looked down at me with love; and, asked me: “Do you understand my Malayalam? I can understand if you talk to me in Tamil. So, Leelavati, you may go!”
After she left, we were alone. To my great and good fortune, Mataji condescended to speak to me for more than an hour. Through it, and` Mataji’s grace, my life was given an entirely different turn; and, I turned a new leaf.
Still kneeling before Pujya Mataji, I saw her moon-like, peace-showering face turn to me, “Now, child! Tell me, what is your problem?” The powerful, yet homely presence of Mataji overwhelmed me, with awe and ecstasy and hence it took some time for me to gather all my faculties to reply. “Mataji! I have come away from the world to the austere life of an ashram, for good. I took the decision myself and I am confident now that I would stick to it,
at all costs. But, I have two deep doubts: One is, I am now 24 years old and my body and the mind are in excellent condition. I am very firm that I do not want any of the pleasures that money, property, position and power can offer me. I have not an iota of doubt about it at all. But, after 10 or 15 years, I do not know whether I will continue to have such complete hold on my physical and mental condition. So, I want to know whether my decision to lead a spiritual life is correct or not. If not, I would now itself switch back to the life of the world,
instead of going back to it after so many years. I pray, Mataji, please give me a clear direction, in this regard. The second is, having come to live in the Ashram and having taken to sadhana so early in life, I sought the advice and guidance of senior devotees of Sri Bhagavan, who live in and around the Ashram, to tell me what should be my sadhana. Each one advised me differently. One said, ‘Learn Sanskrit’, another, ‘Sit in meditation in the Old Hall for an hour in the morning and in the evening’, yet another, ‘Chant the Vedas, along with the Veda Pathasala boys’ ‘Go away from the Ashram; wander all over India, meet
Sages and Saints; remaining inside an institution amounts to the bird with wings enclosing itself inside its mother’s nest’. When they were telling me, I knew very well that they were very sincere. Yet, none of what they said went in. Not that I was resisting them, but not one of them got assimilated into my system. The puzzle continues. So, Mataji! I want you to guide me as to the nature of sadhana that I have to seriously adhere and observe, if your answer to my first question is ‘yes’!”
Pujya Mataji seemed very pleased, since while listening to me, all the time, her most beautiful face was glowing and she showered on me a nectar-like smile. She bent down and touched my head and said: “Child! I bless you! In the very beginning itself, I want to correct you, correct your understanding. Your understanding is raised on the wrong foundation.
Rectify it now itself, in my presence. So that you can follow rightly what I am going to tell you. You repeatedly said: ‘I have chosen’, ‘I have come away’, while talking about your decision to take up sadhana and to lead an ashram life. Have complete faith and conviction that it is not you who have chosen the spiritual life, but it has been chosen by the Lord. You have no other choice but to implicitly obey it and follow it! With this basic, right foundation
of conviction, listen to me. You are on the right track. Yet, since you need an assurance, I guarantee that you will succeed in your sadhana and you will not swerve from the path till you attain your goal. I will guide you and protect you. Pujya Papa has invested me with that duty. So, don’t worry! Go ahead, never look back!”
After some time, she continued, “As for your second question, none of the advice given by others suited you, for the simple reason, that none of them were meant to be your mode of sadhana! Your sadhana is to get back those Old Devotees of Sri Bhagavan who have moved away from the Ashram after Sri Bhagavan’s mahanirvana. They are all scattered across many towns, cities and their native places. Beseech them, convince them that the abode of the Master alone is their place of stay and bring them back to the ashram.
Then, look after them, make their stay comfortable, and thus attend on them, one-pointedly. They have all sacrificed their personal lives of comfort, power, position and pleasures for the sake of living in the proximity of the holy feet of Sri Bhagavan. Now, you should extend all these to them, with respect, love and tender care. This is your sadhana. Do it diligently.”
She took a break and rested a while. But my mind, in that split second, manufactured a thought. Pujya Mataji gave me a mischievous smile and stroked my head, and said: “I know!
While you were prepared to do all these, your mind raises the question: ‘What about my spiritual sadhana?’ Isn’t it? When you do this precious service to the Old Devotees, one pointedly, joyously, diligently and continuously, all the stages in your sadhana, will get fulfilled automatically at the appropriate time. Don’t worry over it. That is my responsibility. I have taken full charge of you and as such I will be guiding you, through and through!”
Again, there was a break. And, again, my mind quickly mulled over the thought, “We both will soon be separated by hundreds of miles away. She can’t come to Arunachala and I don’t know whether I will come again to Anandashram. How is she going to guide me, in my day-to-day life, which I feel is very essential to me at that fluid stage of my sadhana ?”
Like lightening, she pounced on me, and said with great compassion, “My guidance will continue even when you are far away from me. Poor child! Have faith. My guidance will protect you throughout your life. You will yourself realise this as time moves on. Anyhow, for your immediate understanding I shall explain how I will guide you. If anyone comes to you and advises you -- unasked by you -- take it that, that advice comes from me. Likewise,
if something is taken away from you – unasked -- don’t resist - it is I who is removing it from you. I will do both these for your betterment and spiritual growth. Now, I want to give you a foretaste of what I am going to do for you. Do you have any money with you?” I took out a hundred rupee note. She continued, “Hold it in front of your face. From now on money will
not affect you. While you will know its value, I am wiping out from your system the power of money to grip you. You will no longer be corrupted by money power!” I instantaneously felt it drop away from me. From then on till today, I have lost the capacity to know the real worth of money!
She walked a little and again came to me and said: “I have answered your questions. Now, I want to tell you something of myself. This is to put you on the right track of successful sadhana. Listen to it carefully!”
I was thrilled that Mataji had condescended to guide me. I still feel that it is Sri
Bhagavan’s grace that enabled me to deserve the supremely important words of wisdom and practical guidance that Pujya Mataji showered on me.
She continued, “Sadhana is not a means to an end. Sadhana is not a means to a goal. It is both the means and the goal. It is like sports coaching: The pupil is initially told ‘not to do this’, ‘not to hit the ball outside the court’ - only to
focus the pupil’s attention on what exactly, has to be done by the pupil. Here too, the sadhana is introduced to the seeker as a means towards a goal. Since the goal itself is already there, that is, your own Self, how can there exist another goal, other than the one who is striving? So, the sadhana is
merely an initiation to plunge within and be the goal. That is why it is said, ‘The beginning itself is the end ’. The Self in its assumed state of ignorance should do sadhana to attain the goal of perfection. Sages also go along with such ignorant
sadhaks and say, ‘Yes’, ‘yes, go ahead. Be diligent in your sadhana. Then only you will attain the goal!’ It is all God’s Leela! So, be serious with your sadhana ̶ it is the beginning, end and the fulfillment of your life’s crowning glory!”
“Learn to use only positive terms. Never use negative terms, like, ‘No’, ‘I wouldn’t’, ‘I can’t’, etc. Be conscious and use an alternative, positive expression. Instead of saying ‘I can’t do it’, say, ‘I will try to do it’. Negativity, in any form, is the realm of the mind; it always pulls you down -- slowly but surely. In positivity, acceptance and responsibility are thrust on you. People, usually, shun taking burdens. A spiritual aspirant should be prepared, at all
times, to own responsibility, for, the whole purpose of creation is for the Lord to play His Leela. Be a part of it! Have a positive attitude and use only positive answers and terms ̶ be vigilant about it. Such adherence to positivity will, in the natural course, build in you strength, humility, simplicity and perseverance ̶ very essential qualities for progress towards the Truth, inwardly”
“Never look back to the past. Always be in the ‘now ’. Likewise, don’t be endlessly planning or dreaming about the future. Trust the Guru. Have faith in the path you have been blessed with. Pay all attention to your sadhana. Sadhana is done always in the ‘now ’ ̶ be conscious of this important instruction. Past thoughts and future desires intrude into the ‘now ’ and rob you away from peacefully plunging into sadhana ̶ be it japa, Atma Vichara, puja or parayana. While in the ‘now ’, i.e., while doing any of these sadhanas, never allow
the thoughts about the past or future to arise, to intrude into you. “
“When a vacuum is created, nature’s law is that air should rush in and fill it up,
instantaneously. Similarly, when through total attention on sadhana one is plunged in the Mataji engaged in domestic work ‘now ’, which is equivalent to creating a vacuum, since the ‘now ’ is ever devoid of the contents of memory and desires, these outsiders in the form of past and future thoughts
force themselves into the ‘now ’. That is why sadhakas are ever faced with the apparent insurmountable struggle against the invading thoughts, especially when one progresses in sadhana. Guru’s grace alone will help the true sadhaka to win over these invaders and remain in the silence of the ‘now ’. Therefore, before sitting for meditation, prostrate to your Guru (or picture of the Guru), take his name and pray for his blessings, protection and guidance, and then plunge into Self-Enquiry. You will then see how effortlessly you will be
established in the ‘now ’, with great ease too! Guru, Guru and Guru alone IS ̶ you are not!”
“Be always generous. The giver is ever God only. No human being is capable of
producing any of the life-giving commodities. From this, you should understand clearly that the giver is God alone. Such clarity will equip you with the inner strength to give away things; and more importantly, not to cling to material objects. By assuming this attitude of positive giving, one of the stoutest obstacles in the progress of sadhana – attachment - is triumphed over with effortless ease! Take delight in giving, generously. All religions,
therefore, preach charity and giving alms, as vital virtues. Be conscious of the need to be generous, as one of the most important traits for progress in sadhana.”
“Accept things as they come. Lead a simple life. By this, I do not advocate austerity. At your young age, you should enjoy life in all its wholeness. Do as you please, but with the string ̶ ‘Will Mataji approve of this?’ ̶ attached to every one of your desires. This will help you decide for yourself, without a hitch, whether the desire is to be fulfilled or to be rejected. Try to live from the heart and not merely through the head. Remember, the intellect acts merely as a safety-valve - it helps to reject the unreal, thus preventing calamities and
disasters, that’s all. It can never lead you to the Reality. Whereas if you follow your heart, you will never falter, for, it is the inner voice, it is the intuition, it is the divine which activates the heart! Its dictates are based on compassion, love, tolerance and sacrifice. Intellect will urge you to always be the winner, the gainer. The heart, on the other hand, will embrace you even if you are a loser in upholding noble causes. Be a loser, never aspire to be a gainer, for, the eternal law is that those who lose will ultimately gain!”
“Since you are related to the Maharshi, the greatest Jnani of our times, people will try to brainwash you, saying, ‘Seven generations before and seven generations after a Jnani is born in a family, will get liberation automatically!’ Don’t believe it. The whole of humanity is the family of a Jnani. Without doing sadhana no one will attain Self Realisation. Being born in the family of a Jnani is most certainly most fortunate. People will respect you, adorn you
with material things, praise you, adore you and even worship you.”
“But remember, none of these will take you even an inch forward in your inward
journey towards the attainment of Self Realisation. Be ever conscious of this simple truth - it will save you from the biggest pitfalls of being born in a Jnani’s family.
”Refrain from projecting yourself as a ‘somebody’. No one need know that you are a seeker. Look normal; do sadhana unknown to the eyes of others. Keep it as a secret and preserve it as a precious jewel. Has not Sri Bhagavan said, ‘There are no others’ ? It only means that you alone count as far as sadhana is concerned. The Guru knows the sincerity and depth of your sadhana. What other form of recognition should you seek? The Guru guides you both from outside and inside. No other aids are necessary. Nothing but sadhana
should matter to you. To preserve the purity of progress, one needs this defence mechanism of not projecting oneself as a spiritual seeker. Become a ‘nothing’. Be a ‘nobody’. When you thus empty yourself, it is easy for the Guru to come and occupy your heart, thereby guiding you from within, which is the mark of ultimate progress in one’s spiritual path. Has not Sri Bhagavan repeatedly affirmed; ‘Be simple, be humble and be natural’ ? These are the three supremely noble traits a true seeker should aspire for and be
rooted in, forever!”
“Finally, I want to assure you that your Satguru is Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi. You are fortunate to have the greatest Jnani as your Guru.
Hold on to him, cling firmly to his holy feet. Never swerve away from him. Never go searching for any other Guru. If you really get rooted in your Satguru,
it will be his duty to ripen you spiritually. It can also be by his sending you to learn from other masters. You yourself do not have to make any effort to go to
other masters. You will be taken to other masters when the need arises - but it is not your concern.
Unasked you will be led to other masters - don’t resist any such move when it occurs. Once you have totally surrendered to the Satguru, he guides you
through and through. Who do you think sent you here? It is Sri Bhagavan alone! Is Pujya Papa other than Sri Bhagavan? Why did Pujya Papa send you to
me? Who is Mataji Krishnabai but Pujya Sri Bhagavanji? Has not Sri Bhagavan clarified this point by saying, ‘There are no Jnanis, there is only Jnana’? Only Jnana counts. To make it blossom in the disciple, the same Jnana
appears as the Satguru, and takes him to other masters, who all are also nothing but Jnana.
But, when you make efforts to go to masters, you will see them only as individuals. But, when the Satguru sends you to masters, you will see only Jnana and the blessings received from them will also be Jnana only. It is the process to ripen you, even without your knowing it consciously! The Satguru’s workings are often mysterious. But, be assured that it is always for your spiritual advancement!”
“The Guru is all important. But, who is the Guru? The Guru is not just the body, the person whom you see with your eyes. “The ‘teaching’ is the teacher. The ‘teaching’ is the Guru”. Preserve this secret deep in your heart as the most precious treasure. I bless you, Child! You are already blessed by Pujya Sri Bhagavanji and by Pujya Papa. Rest assured that, my protection, guidance and blessings are always there on you!”
Like a honey-bee coming out of a lotus flower after having its fill, I got up in all joy and repeatedly prostrated to Pujya Mataji. The nectar that poured forth from her holy mouth, though very precious, could be understood by me in its depth and purity only slowly, as I began to experience every sentence of hers coming true in my life of inward journey towards the Self! I returned to Arunachala, after a few days stay at the peace-filled Anandashram. While taking leave, both Pujya Papa and Pujya Mataji blessed me, profusely.
It is amazing for me to look back and now realise, how for 27 years, after I was so graciously initiated into my mode of sadhana by Pujya Mataji, I had no necessity to go back to her and seek any clarification about her divine upadesa! This, perhaps, is the proof - if any proof is necessary - of the spiritual strength and power of a true Saint!
